We all know that words have a huge impact on our life. Choosing which words to include in your vocabulary and those you choose to avoid permanently are to be (not should be) taken seriously.
An MRI will prove that a negative word, simply flashed before your eyes for a fraction of a second, causes a sudden release of stress-producing hormones and neurotransmitter that interrupt the normal functioning of the brain: it impairs reason, logic, language processing, and communication. And a whole list of negative words will damage key structures of the brain that are responsible for regulating memory, feelings, and emotions. (excerpt from positivemom.com)
Words and neuroplasticity
Neuroplasticity is the term used to describe how the brain continues to re-invent itself. Older, unused neural pathways will stop functioning, and new neural pathways are created when thinking patterns are repeated and accessed often. What we think about actually rewires our brains and this can be for good or not so good. Research has shown that our choice of words has a direct and immediate effect on our emotional response and makes our brains inclined to respond in specific ways. This is true whether we are reacting to words spoken to us by someone else or our own inner dialogue.
The problem is that our brains are good at learning from bad experiences but bad at learning from good experiences. According to Dr. Rick Hanson, creator of a brain training program says that people who completed a program of training themselves to replace negative thoughts with positive ones “experienced significantly less anxiety and depression, and significantly greater self-control, savoring, compassion, love, contentment, joy, gratitude, self-esteem, self-compassion, satisfaction with life, and overall happiness.” The words we use in our self-talk have a huge impact on our happiness.
BANNED WORDS for Happy Brains:
I Should…
When you’re saying you should do something, you’re saying that you haven’t done something yet and you feel bad about yourself, so you should do it. We live with a lot of “shoulds.”. Should usually says “I feel ashamed, guilty, and regretful that I don’t”. Get rid of should and either do the task you think you should do, or be okay with not doing it at all.
I Can’t…
I can’t gives you permission to fail and often means instead “I won’t” or “I don’t know how to” or even “I don’t want to”. Like Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t–you’re right”. Your mind will believe the words you say and the thoughts you think.
Alternate Idea: I don’t yet know how or I’m choosing not to is more empowering.
I Hope…
When you say I hope, you’re saying unconsciously that you have no control over the situation. You’re essentially giving up all your power to effect change. I hope often deflates our desire, and denotes no control and powerlessness over situations.
I Have To…
This is a phrase I’ve removed from my vocabulary almost completely. Being aware of what I’m saying and how I’m thinking is definitely helping me with this. I usually replace the phrase “I have to” with, “I get to” or “I’m going to”. Going to the gym is a great example. If you are not excited about going telling yourself and others how much you don’t want to go, makes it harder to do it.
Have to implies you don’t have control over your schedule and you’re a victim to whatever restriction has been placed on your time schedule for that day. Every breath we get to breathe is a gift and when we get to move about freely in this world we “get to”.
Alternative wording: I get to go workout today or I’m going to workout today changes the tone completely.
I’ll Try…
Like Yoda says, “There is not try. There is do or don’t do, not try!” You either do things or you don’t do things. Trying is irrelevant. When you say you’re going to try to do something, you’re telling yourself it’s okay if I don’t do it. It’s okay to not do things and not be tied down to your schedule. Being a person of your word is challenging but when you remove the word “try” from your vocabulary, you’ll find that you feel much more empowered.
Give it a do!
I’ve Got a Problem…
We don’t have problems we have challenges and we have obstacles. Sometimes I’ll change problem into “situation”. As people who take ultimate responsibility for everything we do in life, we don’t have “problems” we just have challenges that must be overcome.
I highly encourage you to rid your vocabulary of this word. There are no problems. A problem is simply our interpretation of a neutral event. It’s a story we tell ourselves and we live out. We create problems in our minds. Actual problems don’t exist.
When you see that you have a challenge you must overcome, instead of a problem that can be permanent, you realize that these are just temporary obstacles designed to get you where you need to be.
But…
When you use the word “but” it become a connector word that negates whatever was used before it. So for example, if you were to say “I really like Jenny BUT she’s such a problem in my life that I can’t deal with her.” it nullifies the positive statement before it. It leaves the impression in the mind of the listener that you don’t like Jenny at all. It has the exact opposite effect. If you were to say “I really like Jenny and it’s challenging for me to deal with her.” This phrase is much better tolerated not only by you but by others listening as well.
I hate
This word is simply one of the most debilitating words in existence because of its negative energy. Just don’t!
No way…
There is a way, that you now won’t see because you don’t believe there is.
Impossible…
This word is the opposite of miracles. Let’s believe in miracles!
Our words are powerful and 100% in our control. Stop and think about your word choices both those you speak and those you say to yourself because they will shape who you get to be TODAY. Our words can make our lives and our world better. Choice yours wisely.
Healthy Blessings,
Sandy
Fun Fact: Most people search the internet for information regarding negative emotions, using negative words, like depression, anxiety, hate, fear etc. Rarely do these same individuals search for positive words, like peaceful, compassion, love, kindness, serenity. Positive words like happiness, joy, bliss are rarely put into a Google search and just searching for these words can have a positive impact on the brain. Interesting!
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References/Resources:
- Research report: Brain activation during direct and indirect processing of positive and negative words by ThomasStraubeAndreasSauerWolfgang H.R.Miltner
- Dr. Rick Hanson, PHD https://www.rickhanson.net/
- https://www.td.org/insights/how-words-affect-our-brains
- https://psychcentral.com/blog/words-can-change-your-brain/
